Grunties

The Grunty rhyme is a rhyming couplet, accentual, doggerel form from a first-person perpective. It threatens, insults, or manipulates a hated foe; boasts about the rhymer's power or goals; expresses the rhymer's strange behaviours and characteristics; or any combination of the three. Generally, the Grunty rhyme reveals more about the rhymer than their foe.

Each line typically has 4–5 stressed syllables in iambic or trochaic meter, almost always ending with a stressed syllable. The meter can change from one line to the next as long as the number of stresses stays the same.

The first line should rarely enjamb and should always end with a punctuation mark (typically a comma), while the second line should always end with an exclamation mark, question mark, or both. Sentence structure can be out of order. Other than that, punctuation can be used freely—lines can even be divided into smaller sentences.

Poems

  1. 2025-04-28

    My breath stinks, I must admit,
But I won't stop eating shit!

    Dark Souls. Kingseeker Frampt.

  2. 2025-04-19

    You don't have the spark, I'd say,
My boot will find your butt today!

    Dark Souls. Gwyn, Lord of Cinder.

  3. 2025-04-19

    Why you little! Can't you read?!
A magic wallop's what you need!

    Dark Souls. Dark Sun Gwyndolin.

  4. 2025-04-19

    Trust me when I say you're kingly,
Don't mind if those flames are tingly!

    Dark Souls. Kingseeker Frampt.

  5. 2025-04-19

    Taste my magma, puny dunce,
You'll soon be dead and then I'll munch!

    Dark Souls. Quelaag.

  6. 2025-04-19

    Skip the lunch, you'll get woozy,
When you spin in my jacuzzi!

    Dark Souls. Chaos Eater.

  7. 2025-04-19

    My treasure is my lovely smile,
Your stupid frown is out of style!

    Dark Souls. Mimic.

  8. 2025-04-19

    My slaughterhouse is quite delightful,
Do come in, you're quite the bite-ful!

    Dark Souls. Mildred Maneater.

  9. 2025-04-19

    My breath stinks worse than the blight,
I can't stop eating undead knights!

    Dark Souls. Gaping Dragon.

  10. 2025-04-19

    I'm in the majority,
There's one of you and four of me!

    Dark Souls. Four Kings.

  11. 2025-04-19

    If you think my masks aren't fashion,
Fight my babies for a bashin'!

    Dark Souls. Pinwheel.

  12. 2025-04-19

    I ride in style, you wretched thug,
My bone-wheel beats your ugly mug!

    Dark Souls. Bonewheel.

  13. 2025-04-19

    Don't pass me by, you grubby clown,
I'm in the basement, come on down!

    Dark Souls. Stray Demon.

  14. 2025-04-19

    Don't bother with those serpent goons,
I'll paste you soon, my golem looms!

    Dark Souls. Sen.

  15. 2025-04-19

    Cross the bridge? Your chance you blew,
I'll roast you on my barbeque!

    Dark Souls. Hellkite Wyvern.

  16. 2025-04-19

    “Come and learn my arcane tricks,”
Is what I'd say if you weren't thick!

    Dark Souls. Big Hat Logan.